Most people never achieve their dreams, never take the hard needed changes in their life and as a result always wait for happiness to strike them. But to actually live a happy live it doesn’t take big changes, all we have to change is a pattern of our own thoughts everyday.
What Most People Think
How often have you heard this sentence from friends, family or even yourself:
If I just had 1 million I could do whatever I want and be completely free.
I guess it’s what most people think who are playing lottery. But the reality is that the chances to win, to win “a better life” are so low that it’s more likely a shark will kill you. Additional, only winning that much money is no guarantee for a happy life, quite the opposite is the through in most cases (history proves this).
We trick ourselves into the thoughts that it takes a special environment to do the things we always wanted to do. If we can then do those things, we will finally be happy.
In the case before, we think that we need a big amount of money so we can quit our job and simply do nothing all day and spend the money we have won.
Does that sound like a perfect life to you?
Just for a moment truly ask yourself if you really want to win the lottery.
But winning the lottery is just one example. It happens with almost everything: “If I had house at the sea I could always go there and be relaxed“.
All those constructs are made up from our mind to escape the current reality. The reality our mind doesn’t want to face. The reality which confirms that we are lazy and simply wait for luck to happen.
We fall back into the trap again and again, only if we would have something, we can do something differently and finally be in a better personal state.
So we wait…and wait. Weeks, months and years pass by and we continue to procrastinate by telling us that those who made it have something we don’t have. But that’s a lie.
If you now take this have-can-be problem it’s clear that you’ll never be truly satisfied or happy or whatever you want to be unless 2 other things happen. Especially, the focus is on the first part which means you need to possess something.
So before you can be happy, you need something. That kinda sucks, right?
But the reality is, we can turn around this pattern. And that’s what will actually make your more happy and successful all along.
How to Be More
The mindset shift that is needed is not easy as we have lived with the previous pattern for ages, hence the task looks simply from the outside:
Turn around the previous Have-Can-Be pattern and you get an instruction for your live and own success!
Be – Can – Have
Don’t start from the material point of view, start with yourself.
How do you want to feel in the end? What person would you like to be?
Just start with that right now, not at a distance future point in time.
There’s even a common quote that strikes the same iron, perhaps you’ve heard it before:
“Dress for the job you want not the job you have”
If you dress like the job you want, you will feel already a bit like the future you that has the job. If you say “I am the greatest” each and every day like Muhammad Ali you will one day have what a champion has.
You can be anything you want (perhaps not a unicorn, but almost anything). That’s also the reason why one of my favorite motivational songs is Hall of Fame from The Script, give it a listen if you need some motivation right now.
“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. – Muhammad Ali”
Don’t wait for permission to become someone. No one can give you that. Just start by being it.
If you can’t embrace it physically, start by thinking like that person. Or simply feel the way you want to feel (happy, relaxed, free..).
If you develop this confidence mindset and start with yourself the next step will follow naturally.
Become a Self Fulfilling Prophecy
You have taken the first part of the equation, and once you already feel and be like you want to, the universe will help you to fulfil the rest. Sounds stupid, but it actually will.
Perhaps the actions will not take place tomorrow or next week, but if you constantly remind yourself of the feeling and live it, you will change as a person and new doors will open.
With you new confidence and attitude you can do more than you think right now.
You will see new opportunities and act differently. And over time you will also have what you initially thought you need before you can even be the person you’ve already become then.
(Wow that sentence is a bit mindfuck and inception, perhaps read it again)
I’ve always wanted to become an entrepreneur, do stuff on the internet and live a different live than society thinks you should. After going through education and getting a good job I was not really any closer to my goal or up for that path.
I started feeling like an entrepreneur when I was still working a 9-5 job. I forced myself to feel and think that way. I’ve written it down each and every morning before work. And over time I took decisions like an entrepreneur.
By feeling like an entrepreneur already I took actions I would not have taken before.
At some point the actions simply followed my mind and I’ve become what I wanted.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu
All this will not happen overnight. But you don’t need to have any special possession to make your perfect life happen.
Start from where you are, you don’t need to wait for permission from anyone.
What would you like to become, how do you want to feel?
Don’t wait for luck and start by being your future self right now.